I realised I was never happy in college.I looked back at the March posts to May .None of them had happy things about how I did happy in college.Everyday was just unbearable .My heart did'nt feel good either.I did'nt feel happy in college or healthy.Friends help a ton , but my heart was'nt .I should of known by the start.I feel really dizzy.I also developed suicidal thoughts of myself.Im just not a doormat anymore, I just dont deserve being one anyway.I'm a thoughtful person.The same thing I will sign up for college.But i'm still hesitating.When you are accepted I felt really happy.Those days are gone.Those expectations were honestly really high when the reality not so true.I was not happy at all
i'm being 100% honest.I wont ask for college just yet.I am thinking of different things.I'm developing brainwashing myself to just discard all those sad memories.I want to know how to be more happier in college .