It's me again, I know i've disappeared but I really don't know anymore.I just have'nt enjoyed life the way I used too.Thing's are'nt the same.It's rather really uncomfortable cooked in silence. What's left in my life is furniture with no one. I probably have'nt ever liked being social.I guess I just have to go through this life anyway , alone.I mean I don't need sympathy , I have sin's i'm not going to lie.I will try less complaining less swearing less controversy and publicity,I don't write for no reason I have my own purpose of being here.I noticed that things are'nt what we actually wanted, I have my choice , but since people place me here that's why. I really don't like it, no one does.Really my hope is crushed like i'm allowing this to happen.I wish for onece people would actually realise me if i exist. But actually theres no difference.I'm equally nothing , to be honest.This mind is who the actual me is , it's not someone elss. I'm not a person who simply fits in. Do i like reading?No .Do i like understanding. Yes.I'm being very honest , so you have to understand me. Please read this yourself and onece you fully understand on your interpretation than maybe it will be your opinion. This is my life that I have to go to anyway .The truth does hurt does'nt it ? I'm really bad at my spelling I know.Being me won't change me . I am comfortable with who I really am. I am in one piece that is partly broken numerous of times but this wont change me.Why would you want to be someone elss?It's just not right.I have my own problem's , procastination and excuses. But really is it really worth it. No .I know who I am.People simply just objectively put you there and make a simple conclusion that you are'nt good enough.It's ashameful to me that even this society actually does this look down at you.Well It's partly my problem I know it and maybe I have my own problems. But seriously people are just being fully honest whether i like or not.You think im complaining.Well majority would say yes .But you should know everyone has feelings.My life here has been full attempt failure, there's no hope.But this is what highschool is partly a place that I will never get good grades. I mean the more I read the more I want to vomit.Again i'm being very honest that reading torture's your soul.I'm not saying this as a bad thing.It's just me who cant follow what you learn in books have real meanings. But remeber i'm not this part of person.The other thing is choosing others like if you don't fit in you just , rot.Highschool is the most worst place to be if  you are me. It's no wonder people want to stay at home. Doing the things that I personally never liked. It's completely fake if I liked reading same goes to cooking I never enjoyed it. But really I lied by using the word never..I do enjoy at everything.But really majority of the time was just stupid.Fake smiles everyone.The thing I really personally liked was being alone.And pretending to understand.Don't get emotional. Just don't. Calm down.Don't you feel annoying when someone goes fully angry for no reason.It's annoying you need to calm down .I know you want it your way.But truth is I don't want it your way. I'm being honest , I know im rude but why do you have to not listen to me. I really hate this overly emotion. Fine than cry away.Because i'm done.I feel sorry for you.But you think you are so buff than take it,